Karissa’s Story
Surreal
We’ve all witnessed the Hollywood movie productions, the heart touching awareness commercials, the best-selling books. We hear countless stories about the deadly and tragic disease known to all as cancer. However, in spite of all the notable recognition of this illness, I had never envisioned myself in the position where I would be immensely and personally affected by it. I can distinctly recall that night. I can allow my mind to trigger vivid memories of the events that took place. I can regenerate the emotions I felt during the everlasting moments of uncertainty. I possess a strong capability of remembering it all exceedingly well, yet still cannot seem to embrace the truth of reality. It was surreal.
I was awakened by the penetrating sound of weeping and the negative energy of sorrow, immediately recalling my sister who had spent the endless night at the emergency room with my parents. Curiosity and fear rushed over my body, like an ocean wave sweeping over the shore. After slowly approaching the cries, I discovered some of my family members gathered together, sharing in each other’s pain. My eager ten-year-old self attempted to grasp the situation. The astonished look plastered on my face begged for an answer. Within a matter of seconds, the dreadful news flew into the atmosphere “Karissa has Leukemia.” My sight blurred from the instant flood of tears which began to leak down my cheeks.
Karissa was in severely critical condition with an unfortunate chance of survival. She was urgently airlifted to the largest paediatric health sciences centre in Canada, Sick Kids Hospital Toronto. Driven by a mission to provide the ultimate best in family care and clinical advancements, Karissa had the opportunity to commence her life-dependant treatment in a world-renowned health facility. However, not even this overwhelming reassurance could have prepared me for the enormous obstacle our family was about to experience.
Peering into Karissa’s hospital room for the first time, I endured the worst heartbreak. Exhaustion was written across her face; her hands were pierced with intravenous tubes connecting her to multiple bags of medicine hanging by her bedside. Seeing my little sister, who was always smiling, always laughing, now in this near-death state tortured my stomach. I swiftly turned my head away before she saw the pool of tears that formed once again. I attempted to console myself as I sipped the ice-cold water that a compassionate nurse retrieved for me. Staying strong for Karissa’s well-being was the most challenging circumstance I had to cope with throughout this entire journey.
My family spent the duration of nine months adapting to our new medical environment. The hospital and the faces who occupied it had become familiarized. Karissa’s new hairless look was accepted and adored. Everyday hurdles, such as blood work, were no longer met by the perpetual screaming of a terrified seven-year-old girl. This cancerous disease had its way of tremendously impacting my life and those surrounding me. No, I wasn’t the one chosen to fight and endure the physical hardships, for that I will forever admire my heroic sister. However, I believe on July 12th, 2012 my entire family was diagnosed with this illness. Together we fought this battle, together we persevered the on-going struggle and together we won!
I’m filled with extreme gratitude to finally announce that Karissa took her last dosage of chemo the spring of 2015. After undertaking three years of intense therapy, she has returned to her happy and healthy self, continuing to live through her childhood with a newly found sense of courage and maturity. Presently focusing on the positive outcomes of such a traumatic experience has strengthened my faith. Being exposed to the medical world has opened new doors of opportunity towards a broad selection of career paths. The outpouring of support from astounding charities and facilities has ignited the burning desire in my heart to give back. This turning point revealed to me the important purpose of family and helped me develop an inspiring perspective towards our precious gift of life. I’ve learned we must savour every moment, never take things for granted and cherish our loved ones, because the fate that lies within tomorrow is unknown.
Makayla Kruk
Karissa’s Journey – My Experience
You watch movies and read books about people getting cancer; you hear stories about it happening to people and their family. You never fully understand the extent of what they feel until you are the one experiencing it yourself. On July 12, 2012, I got woken up at 5:30 am to hear the words I never even imagined would come out of my mother’s mouth, “Karissa has leukaemia”. When I found out my 7 year old sister had leukaemia, I didn’t know what else to do but scream “No!” at the top of my lungs. I crawled onto my mother’s lap. She was sitting in the lazy-boy holding my youngest sister. So many thoughts passed through my mind all at once, so many feelings were overwhelming me. I was angry, upset, sad, scared, but empowered to do anything I could to keep my sister happy and get her back to health.
When my family found out Karissa had cancer, everything changed. I mean everything; starting with the life we were living to the perspective life. Little things that once meant so much, were nothing now. The big things that matter most were family, friends and being thankful every day for our own health. All of this became very clear incredible fast, especially when I found out I was within hours of losing my little sister Karissa. Through this experience I realized that every chance you have, you need to tell your friends and family that you love them, no matter what. This is more important than holding grudges regardless of the situation is. I also felt that maybe God had made me such a strong person for exactly this moment in time, when I have to be the rock that my family needs; at those moments when my little sister is looking up at me, not only in love but because she needs to see how strong I am so that she can continue to be strong.
Being positive and staying strong became very important because Karissa could always feel the energy that people gave off. Negative energy brings anyone down, but it is way more noticeable when someone is sick and weak – positive energy is vital to any family member’s health. We would play games with Karissa if she was feeling up to it. If she wasn’t feeling energetic, we would put on whatever movie she wanted to watch. Overall, Karissa’s favourite thing to do, on a good day, was leave the four walls surrounding her that she called her room, adventuring off to Marnie’s lounge where she would play video games, make crafts and mingle with the rest of our siblings.
“Living in the Moment” has never been so real and relevant. Having to watch my little sister deal with pain, fear, frustration, confusion, sadness and stress was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Sitting on the bed beside her one day as the nurse was preparing her for blood work, Karissa starts crying and screaming for mom. Mom has dealt with this everyday now and was telling Karissa she needs to stop and calm down, because she knows it’s going to be okay and it only lasts a few seconds. Karissa then starts calling my name and asking me for help. As I fought back tears I told her she could do it, because there’s no such thing as “I can’t”. Then I had to turn my fave away because I couldn’t fight the tears, they came pouring down my face as I sat there wishing I could be the one in her place. Every day I would wake up in hopes that it was all over, and she didn’t have to deal with any of this anymore, or that it was all just a dream. It wasn’t a dream, it was real and it was actually happening, all I could do was pray and keep telling myself she was going to be okay and all this pain, frustration and fear was just temporary.
Almost every day of Karissa’s journey has been a new experience and battle for her. My family and I have had to continually adapt to whatever medical situation was taking place, having to wait for results and answers to questions that even sometimes the doctors couldn’t even tell us. In those moments is when we learned to just trust in God, even when it’s the hardest thing to do. He already knows that plan! Through Karissa’s experience I learned not only about leukaemia and the treatment, but I learned about life. What about life? Family, love and how strong everyone is together with the love and grace of God. Karissa has finished her final treatment, but her journey has not come to an end. She still has to go for blood work, bone marrow test, and over all checkups. Through this experience our family has become a team, and I feel we have all learned that life is precious. We need to live passionately, on the edge, and in the moment. You can’t change the past and the future is unpredictable, live now because the present is a gift.
